SPONSORS: www.linkedin.com/in/jimdascenzo/ www.companycasuals.com/stitchart/start.jsp/ Jn 1: This is the testimony of John: “I am the voice of one crying out in the desert, ‘Make straight the way of the Lord,’ ...“I baptize with water; but...the one who is coming after me, whose sandal strap I am not worthy to untie.”
Remember how busy the mall parking lot was about two weeks ago? That place was JAMMIN', yo. Tonight, you can probably get a primo parking spot at your fave department store, no prob. Instead, every gym and health club lot will be packed to the gills.
Also, I'm guessing Core Life Eatery, Subway Sandwich Shop, and any restaurant with "vegan," "meatless," "Keto-friendly," or "plant-based" in or around it's title will also be at maximum seating capacity tonight and for the foreseeable future. Winner, winner grilled chicken dinner for these establishments.
Weight Watchers' "new and improved" program, Nutrisystem's monthly BOGO free plan, the new-fangled NOOM dealio and even old Jenny Craig are all on auto-pilot...just waitin' to separate eager first-time members from sizable fees/costs. Small price to pay for health, right?
Then again, Peloton is charging (and easily raking in) the cost of a tiny third-world country (per machine!) to those dedicated cycle-enthusiasts of privilege. CHA-CHING for the high-end exercise bling!
It's #NewYearsResolution time, people. Alas, fear not. Come March, your old gym spot will be free. The lines at Subway will have dwindled and Oprah, Marie Osmond and Jenny herself are going to have to drop back and punt on their 2020 marketing plans.
Actually, I'm wrong.
Apparently all that reshuffling will occur BEFORE March because, according to U.S. News & World Report, 80% of New Year's resolutions fail by February.
Happens every year. Literally. Sigh.
Don't set yourself up, people of earth! Instead of fixating on an unrealistic or unsustainable goal (dude, NOBODY eats Keto forever), maybe do a softer launch on your campaign?
Walk a little more. Stop having steak and lobster dinners at 10PM. Eat one or two cookies instead of a whole sleeve. Baby steps.
Better still, focus on something else. Commit to reading a classic American novel...or an extra long, super-duper far-out fiction...or maybe even the greatest book ever written (that would be The Bible, y'all) over the course of the year.
Volunteer at a homeless shelter. Adopt a rescue pet. Set 10 dollars per month aside to give to a local charity.
To keep a resolution through to its end doesn't mean being able to bench press 550 pounds or look like a Hadid by December 31, 2020. I mean, it could, but that's not really the point. This is:
If you make even one little adjustment that helps another human or two ... well, you've actually changed not just yourself but the whole world, Capsice?
Happy 2020 Resolutions, everyone! #CommitToCompassion #GiveInTheNewYear #ResolveToHelpOthers #Pray #Peace