We all know at least one of them personally --– and frankly, that’s probably a gross underestimate.
Because, more than likely, you come into contact with one, some, or even several of them fairly often.
Let’s face it, they’re everywhere.
Don’t even tell me that you haven’t seen them waltzing through the super market, striding about in the plaza, or zipping up and down the escalator at the mall.
You will recognize them by their wrinkled noses, furrowed brows, and/or disapproving scowls.
They are, in essence, surveying the lay of the land; basically, scrutinizing each minute detail of every single product with which they come into contact.
Dollars to donuts, you can safely bet that they’re also pretty much judging the slacker set (of which I am a proud member) who dare to dip into the bargain bin.
That’s right, I said it.
I am speaking, of course about the ever-persnickety purchaser.
I find it utterly ridiculous that so many would rather spend a ton more moola on shampoo, peanut butter, toothbrushes, or even soda than to opt for a more cost-effective, no-name variety.
But, then again, for fiercely frugal, coupon conscious low-lifes like myself, buying a common version ---or horror of horrors, the store brand itself!– this is not torture.
And, at the risk of ruffling the feathers of some of my nearest and dearest, I simply must call out the hordes of those who can be labelled as nothing other than --- well label lovers.
Okay fine, let’s call them what they truly are: brand snobs.
Heck, some of us may or may not be related to such a brand bully. Without naming names, there’s a close member of my family in whose home you will NEVER EVER find a single generic item. Ever!
Me on the other hand? I am not afraid of a bottle of ketchup that doesn’t read Heinz across the front.
And sure, I mean, have I occasionally regretted snagging the more economical, lesser-known version of a product? Natch.
There were those super-cool-looking (on the outside) houndstooth boots with the frilly black flower tops that I got for a steal—only to find out that would’ve been overpaying for them.
And it’s not that they didn’t look great, it’s just that the soles sorta looked like they foam. Okay, they were, in fact, made out of foam. Whatever. This was not my finest hour…or my happiest either. Cold, wet toes will do that to a gal.
But I’m not going to flip out if my husband happens to come home with the Turkey Hill brand of ice cream instead of Haagen Daaz.
On second thought, I probably would flip out. Because both of those are a little pricey and I know the Giant Eagle, Target, Publix, Costco, etc. all have varieties of those same foodstuffs that taste pretty darned good.
But, to be fair, even misers like PK have limits.
So, in the interest of transparency, some of trademarks I tend to gobble like a Thanksgiving turkey include:
-Eggland’s Best Eggs. Oh, come on now, it’s right there in the title!
-Filippo Berio Olive Oil. If Pop ever knew I used some knock-off, he’d be the one knocking off….my head!
-Miracle Whip Light. Yup. I’m not gonna lie; I refuse to look at anything other…even Kraft mayo.
-Although, clearly, I have my go-to Kraft products. Let’s see there’s Philadelphia Cream Cheese, Planters nuts, Oscar Meyer hot dogs (though Hebrew National rocks, too).
-Alright, I’ll fess up to both Nestle and Cadbury. Oh, and Hershey’s, of course.
-Campbells Soup or Progresso Soup. Period, end of story.
-Cereal, and please do not fight me on this. You cannot look me in the eye, kiss your mother with that mouth, or even hold your crossed fingers behind your back by claiming no-name cereal tastes like its brand-inspired cereal. I’m sorry but there’s no comparison between Cheerios and Toasty Oasty or whatever it’s called.
-Coke vs. Pepsi is a no brainer. I’m sorry because I grew up in a Pepsi house but Coke Zero is my JAM.
And speaking of jam, I’d better get myself out of rambling on too long about all of this by signing off.
Kimrerer is a brand snob who didn’t realize she was a brand snob until she starting talking about brand snobs. She’s very sorry, you can give her a piece of your mind at email@example.com.