Let's All Aim for Zero Pain

​There’s a debate that’s been going on for many, many years. Perhaps decades. Shoot, I don’t know, maybe even centuries?

It has to do with pain tolerance and who does it better, men or women.

Hmm.

There’s a long-standing claim in relation to this matter that maintains the following:  If men had to go through childbirth, humanity would become extinct.

Clearly we gals came up with this one, I suspect?

Either way, if I’ve heard this assertion once, I’ve heard it a thousand times — and I am, for once, NOT exaggerating for a laugh. Not that I’m above that sorta thing. Making y’all smile and chuckle, kinda my jam.

I digress. 

I think it’s fair to say we women make this bold statement all the time. And men scoff at it, well, all the time.

But the reality is, there’s really not ever going to be a way to gauge who the true pain primaries are, now is there?

Because the point of contention (in my humble and often flawed opinion) is this: How does anyone ever really, truly understand how much something physically or emotionally hurts another human being?

Sure, there are parameters, measurements, guidelines and what not. Heck, there’s even that silly smiley face chart thingy-ma-doodle that goes from grinning to downright Mr. Yucking you right out of the doctor’s office.

I hate that chart. I find it inane. Not insane. But yes, inane. You know, silly. Insipid. Pointless. 

In fact, I find it sort of ridiculous when someone asks me to measure my pain, period.

“On a scale of 1 to 10, Patty, how much pain are you in?”

Um, I don’t know … 6.725?

What the heck kind of question is that? Even if I tell you I’m at a level of 10, that could totally be a 4 for you. Or a 76.
I mean, some things just aren’t that easy to gauge, and pain tolerance / level is right up there at the top of the list.

It’s so personal and subjective. Not to mention the cornucopia of factors at play.

Where is the pain? Is it aching or throbbing? Is it stabbing or pulsating? Does it start then stop then start again like your old Chevette in the 1980s?

UGH.

It reminds me of those ridiculous word problems we had to figure out on those rotten timed tests we were forced to take in grade school that not only never made sense to me but also that I almost always missed.

“If a train traveling at 65 mph leaves New York at 7 p.m. and arrives in Pittsburgh at 10:15 p.m., what was the color of the carpeting in the dining car?”

Wait, what? Um, gray?

I was always inclined to go with answer “C” on the multiple choice when I filled in the bubble with my No. 2 pencil. 

And while we’re at it, how come it always had to be No. 2 pencil? Did school administrators and teaching staff members have something against the lead in a No. 3? Sheesh.

In the interest of full disclosure, I had no idea how many types of standard lead pencils exist, so I did a quick dig that led (hee!) me to an article posted on www.mentalfloss.com explaining how pencil makers manufacture Nos. 1, 2, 2.5, 3, and 4 pencils. These are, apparently, the most commonly used pencils worldwide. The higher the number, the harder the core and the lighter the markings. 

Sorry for going down that rabbit hole but I was always pencil pensive.

Anyhoo, I just think things like assessing how much something physically hurts one homosapien vs. another is like asking if Leonardo da Vinci was a better painter than Pablo Picasso. No easy answer. #TooCloseToCall

PS -- My opt is for DaVinci, just sayin’!

Suffice it to say, only YOU can prevent forest fires — and / or know how much something hurts YOU.

But one thing’s for certain; if another human is in pain, the least we can do is try to lessen it for them in some way if we are able, Capisce?

​Here’s wishing you all a multitude of happiness and less than zero in the pain game, friends!

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