'Tis the Season to be Snarky

‘Tis the season to be snarky ,,, ha ha ha ha ha, ha ha, ha HA!

Hmm. 

I think it’s time for me to sum up 2021, no?

Because, if I’m being honest, this year’s been a bit of a stinker.

Sorry, but it has. 

Stupid 2021.

Which is why I try to use this space to make way for a little smile or two.

Now THAT is my jam. And jelly. And chocolate sauce, I s’pose.

Although, I’d rather talk real sauce, my friends. The kind with tomatoes. With tons of garlic. And basil. And homemade meatballs, too. 

I’m Italian, capisce? We eat lasagna on Jesus’ birthday. It’s what we do.

Speaking of, here’s my abbreviated, annual rip off of the annual classic, ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas.

‘Twas one week before Christmas 
When PK looked yonder
And realized that this year,
She had lots to ponder.

Pandemics and vaccines 
And boosters – oh boy!
Remember when our biggest problem 
Was picking a toy?

How I long for the days
From old yesteryear
When I struggled between
Spiderman or a new teddy bear.

Should I get Kyle a puzzle?
Or maybe some toys.
Because certainly nothing was 
Too much for my boy.

When what to my wandering
Eyes should appear?
But a full-grown up man
Old enough to drink beer.

I cannot be sure 
How this time has sped by.
Or what it could be
That is making me cry.

For certain one reason
Is my heart busting open.
Full of pride and much love
Not to mention devotion.

Because here towering o’er me
Like a mini-Greek god
Is my wee baby boy
In a man’s full-grown bod.

He’s strapping and handsome
If I might please say so?
And if you don’t believe me
Just follow the flow…

Of all the young ladies
Who can’t seem to help
Chasing after my son
Right in front of myself.

It’s all I can do
To rebuke every one
Because clearly there are none
Great enough for my son.

Then again, that’s not true.
For my true heart’s desire
Is for him to find the one
Who sets his heart afire.

Perhaps my real wish
Has got nothing to do
With my son getting married
Or settling down too soon.

No, what I’m really hoping for
This beautiful season
Is for everyone to pause
And remember it’s reason.

I’m not scared to say
That my Savior was born
On the day we acknowledge
As next Saturday morn.

What the actual date
On which he arrived
Has been highly debated
And even denied.

But take heart, my dear friends
And don’t ever forget
That the good Lord sent Jesus
To pay off our debt.

Merry Christmas, my pals!
And for all of the humans on earth
I hope you take a moment
To celebrate His great birth.


Kimerer is a columnist who wishes everyone a very MERRY CHRISTMAS. Contact her for more “and to all a good night” kinda mush at www.patriciakimerer.com

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