For the humans, anyway, this seems to be a challenge, in general. I mean, there are some species that seem way better at it than homo sapiens.
Elephants, for instance, will wait 95 weeks for a baby to hatch. Sheesh, and we thought 40 was rough! (BT Dubs, it is.)
Then there are Komodo dragons who bite their prey, injecting slow-acting poison into their systems. Next, they follow them, FOR WEEKS, as they weaken and finally drop over and dinner is FINALLY served. (YIKES alive, er, dead!)
Earlier this year, a handful of the globe's smartest economists published a research paper studying cross-country differences in character traits like patience, risk aversion, reciprocity, altruism, and trust. They gathered data by conducting surveys with 80,000 people across 76 countries within the framework of the 2012 Gallup World Poll. This stuff takes a while, a'ight? Anyway, here's an excerpt of the report:
"In the context of this study, 'patience' was defined as willingness to give up something that is beneficial for you today in order to benefit more from that in the future. To measure this, the researchers ... asked participants about their willingness to postpone a hypothetical reward; but, importantly, they chose a specific question format that they had shown would predict choices in experiments where people had to postpone real reward."
I'm thinking, money? Most earthlings seem fairly motivated by cash. Either way, Sweden was deemed most tolerant, with the Netherlands coming in second and the good old US of A taking the bronze in the "laid-back" department.
Hmm, a little shocking that we even came in third. Have these people ever gone shopping in NYC? Just sayin'...
Point is, patience ain't a virtue by accident, okay? It's not easy; especially when you try displaying it with the person in the mirror, if you catch me.
Good news is, there's somebody up there whose patience never runs low ... as long as we keep trying to do the right stuff, Capisce?
Sometimes, you have to really push through darkness to find light.
Say, for instance, when you're still reeling from one of the most iconic structures representing your faith on the entire globe nearly burning to the ground --- and suddenly hundreds of your flock are cut down on the holiest day of the year; just for being Catholic.
Then you learn a friend has unexpectedly lost a sibling. Heartbreaking.
And maybe you've got other familial concerns weighing heavy on your mind.
Deep, deep sigh.
Plus, it's kooky crazy at work....and it's Monday. Like ALL.DAY.LONG.
Then you realize that the sun is still shining...you are blessed with an incredible circle of peeps in your life ... and oh yeah, it's #EarthDay.
So you do what you know you should: trust in the Big Guy, cling tight to your fam, and be good to Mother Earth, ding dang it!
(And your own Mama, too, just sayin'.)
Together, we are strong. We got each other ... and we got this.
It happened so distantly, That injustice on Golgotha. But not an Easter goes by When we don’t relieve the drama. From the Sunday before When the crowds raised palms… And sent up “Hurrahs!” And praised high and long. But as the week unfolded He calmly went about The work that He came for… Though He must have had doubts. For He was half human Just like you and me. His Father’s from heaven, yet His Mom’s mortal; amere teen, actually. When her whole life got thrown In the blink of an eye, As an angel explained She’d have a baby…and why. So, yes, Mother and Son Were aware of the plan That would take her little boy As a sacrifice for man. A fate they both took From the very word go. Yet they couldn’t have helped To have felt so much woe. Oh, the terror He endured As all around him crumbled. And even his best friends Weren’t there when he stumbled. And bled and was tortured And ridiculed and mocked. And spat on and disparaged And even defrocked. By those people who less Than a single week before Had welcomed Him with open arms And so very much more. But all that had changed By the fateful Last Supper When one of his own Would make sure that he’d suffer. And writhe in pain He did For two solid days. When the smoke finally cleared, Who was there in its wake? His sweet Mother Mary And one good pal John And Mary’s two sisters, Just to help her be strong. And another young woman Who was sick when they met. But whom He saved from her demons A gift she’d never forget. Though she couldn’t repay Him She felt the least she could do For the man she called “Teacher” Was to see Him through. To his very last breath And even beyond. For the day after He died She was still simply drawn To his burial site. And that’s where it happened Mary Magdalene was first To learn the truth of The Passion. The very first witness To the Resurrection glory. No, it wasn’t the end But the beginning of the story. And it continues to be told As it will ever be; Of how Christ came to earth Just to set us all free. As you don that new dress And set the Easter table, Don’t forget this all started With a babe in a stable. So please take a moment To pause and reflect And to give God the glory And your love and respect.
Kimerer is a Tribune Chronicle columnist wishing everyone a Blessed Passover and Happy Easter. Visit her daily blog at www.patriciakimerer.com
Do you know any of those humans who are really great at everything?
You know, they try their hand –make that feet-- at soccer and excel. Then they use those feet to run track a few years later and qualify for junior high champs. All the while, they’ve been intermittently swimming and decide that THAT will be their sport of choice --- and proceed to smash pool records in high school and college.
Oh, and they also become the Valedictorian and win a bunch of art awards, to boot. Oooh, then there’s also that whole, “I can play music by ear. Maybe I’ll write a few songs?” hidden talent.
But enough about my kid.
Rotten brilliant, athletic, adorable, artsy punk. How does he do that, anyway? Totally skips a generation, just sayin’.
Then there are the Bradley Coopers of the world who can act and produce and direct and (who even knew?) sing --- and do it all, well, like a rock star, yo.
Did I mention he’s not the most unfortunate-looking male on the third rock? Sa-woon, by the way. I digress.
But, yeah, they’re all pretty annoying, no? Dumb over-achievers. Making the rest of us earthlings look like regular old cave dwellers.
And, yes, it’s true that I can’t sing like Lady Gaga or act like Julia Roberts. I can’t play an instrument --unless the Maracas count? Fine, have it your own way, meanies.
But, I got some game. Sure, it’s not in an actual SPORT, per say.
I mean, I’m no baller. I can’t play tennis very well. Or soccer. Or volleyball. Or softball. I completely STINK at golf –even the Putt Putt kind- and can’t sink a ball on a pool table to save my life.
I’m not so handy at scrapbooking, needlepoint, embroidery or quilting, either.
I can’t make an origami. I’m not too fab at skipping stones. I’ve accidentally killed every plant I’ve ever owned. My sense of direction is legendary…because it’s so abysmal.
Frankly, I totally get Fredo (eldest Corleone brother in “The Godfather” films).
"I was stepped over but I can handle things! I'm smart! Not like everybody says... like dumb... I'm smart and I want respect!”
Me, too, buddy.
I mean there ARE things for which PK’s got a flair, all right? Gimme a second, I’m thinking!
I’m not a bad cook. Homemade Italian bread, sauce, lasagna, and Wedding Soup, those I’ve got down pretty well. Chicken Scampi, homemade Mac & Cheese, breakfast casseroles extraordinaire? I’m your girl.
I’ve got a pretty high threshold for pain… Ah, and I can certainly figure out a plot line early in a story. In fact, I’ve accidentally been a human spoiler alert on several occasions by blurting out who’s gonna “done it” or who’ll end up happy ever after…or dead. HINT: The other humans seem to thoroughly dislike when I do this.
I’m excellent at keeping secrets, emboldening confidences, and seeing the good in the other humans. I’m stellar at finding solutions to problems great and small (except mine, of course) and cheering hearts. I’m not too shabby at the whole inspirational messaging thing.
I am patriotic, loyal, and honest to a fault. I never waiver in my faith in God, family – or the power of a good cup of coffee.
And I just made you smile…so, I ain’t so bad at that either, capisce?
Kimerer is a Tribune Chronicle columnist who's kinda okay with a turn of a phrase…but don’t ask her anything about numbers when you contact her at www.patriciakimerer.com
So much in life seems uncertain that sometimes it can feel overwhelming. In terms of the universe and even just here on the third rock, a human could feel a little lost in the shuffle from time to time, no? I'm thinkin' yeah...and I tend to speak for the humans, yo.
It's like Ferris Bueller said on his day off: "Life moves pretty fast."
Truth. And so, on this soon-to-be-yesterday Saturday Eve (man, why do weekends fly by faster than weekdays on this planet?), I give you a list of some things in life that will always be:
-You will always catch every red light between Point A and Point B when you have departed later than intended.
-You will always develop a blemish, cold sore, bruise, scratch or some other defiling mark on your face the night before a big presentation, a job interview or a class (or other type of) photo shoot.
-You will always have your most embarrassing pratfall in public. If, by some stroke of luck, you do take your tumble without the aid of an audience, it will yield some outward indicator (a cast, a brace, a goose egg the size of Rhode Island) that forces you to recount the whole rotten incident. EDITOR'S NOTE: If you are not seriously injured, people will laugh at the recollection.
-You will (likely) never be the solitary winner of the lottery when it tops out at $800M. You will (likely) only win the lottery when you've gone in on a pool with 1,847 other people...and it will only be for the small "Kicker" thingy. You'll clear 42 cents.
-Nobody on earth will ever love you as much as your Mom and Pop. NOBODY.
-The sun will come out eventually...you just need to be patient. Also, puddles make fun play spots while the sun is hiding. Every.Single.Time.
-The Big Guy's lookin' after your car and everyone in it --- let Him drive, Capsice?