A Reclusive Prequel...

SPONSORS: www.hbkcpa.com/consultants/melissa-crowley/​  www.cailorfleming.com   Mk 1:15 The Kingdom of God is at hand; repent & believe in the Gospel.

I'm not cool like George Lucas.

I mean, I'd like to have you believe that I'm discerning and astute enough to have devised it in advance.

I wish I could honestly say that, in the spirit of contemplative planning, I had a prequel in mind when I wrote this coming's Sunday column about being a hermit.

Hermitess, if I'm being anatomically accurate. Either way.

Point is, I'm not that pensive, sadly.

I thought of this blog topic AFTER THE FACT, though it could correspond to my unwillingness to be as social as I was in my youth. And here's one of the main reasons: the latrine.

That's right, people. As I was standing in line, waiting to use a public toilet last weekend, I had a moment of absolute clarity...

THIS IS A STRONG ARGUMENT FOR NOT WANTING TO GO OUT OF THE HOUSE.

In fact, once I finally got into the stinky little box; it was all down the drain from there, my friends.

Not only was there NO PAPER left in the roll ... but when I tried to affix the spare resting on the germ-infested tank behind me, it slipped right through my fingers.

Yep, zipped lickety-split out of my stall and directly into one across the way where someone snapped it up without so much as a "Thanks!" or "Do you need a square or two?"

HMPF.

By some stroke of luck, there was a spare spare which, as I tried for about 9 solid minutes to adjust, prompted my empty bowl to flush about 14,726 times.

GRRR.

Finally, finally, I was ready to roll myself when suddenly, my flush-happy bowl all but dried up.

No matter what I did, I couldn't get it to recycle, Capisce?

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHH!

Two days later when it flushed, I had another marathon wait...for the motion-sensored paper towel machine to function. This only after the touchless soap dispenser dissed me about 871 times.

Defeated, I walked out the door only to have Kerry yell "WHAT THE HECK TOOK YOU SO LONG?" He's still looking for a ride home.

​Ah, home. That wonderful place I'm never leaving again. #RECLUSELIVING #HERMITATHEART #LIVE #LAUGH #LOVE #PRAY #PEACE

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