Spon: www.cailorfleming.com/ https://chickfilasouthernpark.com/ https://www.hbkcpa.com/consultants/james-dascenzo/ Ps 23: I shall dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life.
Things are hard for everyone right now. Let's face it: every day is basically just a juggling act to deal with the disaster du jour.
The world is pretty much a shambles. I mean, between the cataclysmic climate, the persistent pandemic, and the economic upheaval --there’s just a general disturbance in the force out there.
Closer to home, the Republicans all seem to have COVID. The Democrats are saddled by… Biden. Both parties suffer from diarrhea of the mouth. It’s enough to make a human’s head hurt.
At the time of this writing, I’m personally grappling with the loss of Eddie Van Halen.
Look, I’m a child of the ‘80s, dude. He and Valerie Bertinelli were like our Kim and Kanye. Okay, that might not be the best comparison but you get the gist.
She was America’s sweetheart; he was rock’s reigning guitar guru. It was the stuff of celebrity fairy tale. Well, for a while, anyway. #RIPEddieVanHalen
Yet, every time I think 2020 has 2020’d us to the max, it kicks it up a notch.
Never in my life have I wanted one year to end more emphatically than I do this one.
So, while we’re wallowing in the misery that IS 2020, I figure, why not just get some long-standing confessions off my chest? After all, what better time to purge, right?
1. “Everybody Does NOT Love Raymond.”
No offense, but, while I love, love, loved that show, Ray Romano was, by far, it’s weakest link. He should get down on his hands and knees every day of his life that he had the supporting cast of dreams because his humor, in and of itself, and what I can only imagine was pretty much him portraying a version of himself very similar to the IRL one? Blech. He was whiny and annoying and childish and pretty much a big baby. They should’ve called the show We Love Everybody BUT Raymond. There, I said it.
2. “This Is Us” Stinks.
Again, I know I’m going to take some heat on this one but I can’t stand the TV show “This Is Us.” WHY? Gee, I don’t know. Maybe because the Pearsons are the single most depressing family unit in the history of --- fake families? How many bad things can happen to one bloodline, anyway? I mean, they really need to look into who originally put the evil eye on their ancestors and beg their respective descendants to remove it, capisce? This is one dismal, discouraging, and dispiriting story. If I want that kind of joyless narrative, I’ll just put the news on. Sheesh!
3. The Three Stooges Were Overrated.
I actually took a hard gulp before offering up this revelation because I know I’m messing with icons here. Look, I’m sorry and I know I have to put it in the context of the era but COME ON? Larry, Curly, and Mo could have taped one show and just run it 18 zillion times because EVERY EPISODE IS THE SAME NONSENSICAL SLAPSTICK STUPIDITY. Ahem, not that I’m sure they didn’t offer much-needed levity back in their day?
4. Tortilla Chips Don’t Need to Come in 482 Different Flavors.
5. The Walking Dead is On Life Support.
All of 'em. The original. The spin off. The prequel. The sequel. The only ones still watching ARE zombies. Please unplug the franchise, AMC.
I know, I’m just being a moody dork. I’m sorry. Well, mostly. Raymond and the Stooges really grate on my last nerve, yo.
Anyway, here’s hoping 2021 ushers in health, happiness, and heaps of peace, y'all! And pink slips for "This is Us" and TWD.
Kimerer is a crabby columnist. Tell her what a jerk she is at www.patriciakimerer.com
Spon: www.cailorfleming.com/ https://chickfilasouthernpark.com/ https://www.hbkcpa.com/consultants/james-dascenzo/ Lk 11: Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us and lead us not into temptation."
So, apparently, it's the Christmas season.
No, I don't mean just at the North Pole, home of Santa's Workshop --or in northern Iceland, where the Christmas Garden in Akureyri celebrates the season 365, 24/7 (mostly as a HUGE tourist attraction, BT dubs).
But in regular old American cities peppered throughout this great nation of ours. Yes, it's still great, y'all, no matter what.
Either way, a local radio station is playing Christmas songs. Like now. They started October 1 and won't stop until 11:59PM on 12.25.2020, yo.
Naturally the Hallmark Channel has been airing Christmas movies every Friday night in anticipation of this year's "Countdown to Christmas" celebration, which kicks off later this month. This, in addition to a pandemic marathon of Christmas flicks in May followed by a month-long yuletide film fest in July.
A pal of mine posted Instagram shots of her family room...all decked out in Christmas glory.
There are those of us who would celebrate the most wonderful time of the year EVERY DAY, ALL DAY, nonstop if it was socially acceptable.
I mean it. Constantly. Period. We have holly in our hearts, mistletoe on our minds, and Noel in our noggins. If we had our way, there'd be lights on the mantle every day of the month.
And we're right.
There are those of the school of thought that any display of festive cheer that precedes the end of the Thanksgiving weekend are ludicrous, unacceptable, premature, inappropriate, and completely rush the season.
And they're right.
Bottom line? If you love Christmas and listening to "Jingle Bell Rock" helps you get through even four minutes of pandemic pandemonium. Do it.
If you love Christmas and feel it's special BECAUSE it only comes once a year and that early onset cheats autumn of its grandeur...folks on pumpkin spice lattes, cinnamon apple candles, and apple pie-scented sconces. Do it.
You be the judge...just go easy on the sentencing, a'ight?
Just do it while understanding that, especially right now, anything that makes a human heart smile shouldn't be ripped apart and crumpled up like last year's gift wrapping. Please respect one another's differences while embracing what gives you joy.
No need to add any hurt or harm to a year that's been Ebeneezer Scrooging us since March, Capisce?
Live, laugh, love -- and let the other homosapiens do the same. #Respect #Tolerance #Pray #Peace
Spon: www.cailorfleming.com/ https://chickfilasouthernpark.com/ https://www.hbkcpa.com/consultants/james-dascenzo/ Ps 119: Lord, let your face shine on me.
Ahhhhh --- tum. As in, don't look now but autumn has reared it's rustic orange head.
And even though the air is chilling, the daylight's dwindling, and the leaves are super-nova-ing toward their collective final resting place (apparently, my kitchen floor?) - little else seems typical about good old apple cider season this year.
In fact, the 2020 version of autumn might literally require Tums® for me to stomach --- and an extra-strength Tylenol® or two, too. Sigh.
It's no surprise that fall is really, really well, weird this year.
First there wasn't going to be school. Then there was. Then there wasn't again.
Then there was … but only online. Then the scheme was for an amalgamation; part virtual, part face-to-face classes- well, mask to mask, anyway.
Oh and the whole sports scene. Yes, there's college football! No, wait, there isn't. Then BAM! The Vegas bookies dealt the Big 10 a new hand…but it only has four cards?
Basically, everything is tentative. So plan accordingly. Wink.
Alas, no matter how our very status as a planet may have changed drastically since you read the first line of this piece, here are some random ramblings I've had WAY too much time to pandemic ponder, people:
-How come Nostradamus didn't warn us about this crap?
-Are we flipping having trick-or-treating or not?
-If we can open casinos, why can't little old ladies play bingo?
-Why does my neighbor only work on loud outdoor projects when I'm in a Zoom meeting?
-Are everybody's ears sticking out more now or is it just mine?
-Where's the beginning and end of that single strand of spider web you occasionally see? Why is it always that I only notice it as I'm walking through it? What happens to the critter that spun it and do I now have spider spawn scalp? SHUDDER.
-Where do all the lightning bugs go and when and why and how? How long do they blink into the night? How do they even know when it's getting dark; do Drive-In movie theater owners dial them at dusk? While we're at it, why do some people call them fireflies?
-Are we or are we not still in Phase I of you-know-what? Is there a second wave coming and is going to be tame or tsunami?
-Why do some humans insist on referring to the pandemic in the past tense? For instance: How come some commercials and promotions are telling us it's time to get unstuck-or to resume travel-or trying to force us to shower every day? Sheesh!
Speaking of the boob tube (am I still allowed to say that?)…
-Who determines when television and streaming programs/movies can resume filming/taping/recording? When the heck is "Stranger Things" coming back???
-Am I the only one who wants Patrick Stewart to throat punch Mark Hamill in their commercial? Aren't we all secretly hoping James Earl Jones will swing by on his way to Arby's® and do his whole "strangling you from afar" thing on his film offspring?
-Did Rob Lowe REALLY put on quarantine weight? Have a gazillion people really dropped pounds via Atkins?
-Why did they hype a Presidential debate and then run a showing of "Grumpy Old Men"? READ: This includes you, Chris Wallace.
-If we're all in this together; how come we're treating each other like Lucy does Charlie Brown every time he tries to punt?
Be nice to one another or I'm Vulcan nerve pinching y'all, Capisce?
Kimerer is a columnist who'll support the candidate securing permanent standard time in Ohio. Contact her at www.patriciakimerer.com
Spon: www.cailorfleming.com/ https://chickfilasouthernpark.com/ https://www.hbkcpa.com/consultants/james-dascenzo/