An Open Letter to a Complete Butt-Head

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MT 16:18 And I say to you, that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of the netherworld shall not prevail against it. 
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Dear Jerk Who Tried to Scam My Father-in-Law Earlier,
First, let me say that, not only are you NOT my son but you couldn't even begin to come close to the man he is, let alone have the audacity to pretend that you are, indeed, Kyle.

Not only is my son honest and honorable but he would not stoop anywhere near the lowlife gutter where you clearly reside.

Kyle would never call a stranger, feigning injury and incarceration while claiming to be the grandson of said stranger, begging for help in the form of $2500 in lawyer retainer/bond fees.

You couldn't be a wart on the bottom of Kyle's foot, yo. He's no criminal, he's no liar, he's no jerk. But you are, since you think senior citizens are stupid.

You found out they aren't when you told your "Grandpa" that he had to wire you cash right away. Sure, like any grandparent would be, my father-in-law was startled at first, thinking that one of his kids' kids could be in trouble.

But soon he began to doubt your story and when you claimed to be too terrified of me and Kyle's Dad to tell us you wrecked your car, you tipped your hand completely. "Well, I'll bring you the money but I'm also going to bring your father," said your "granddad" just in time to hear you hit the off button.

Why can't you use your powers for good instead of evil, you rotten little snot? If I were you, "Kyle," I'd keep an eye over your shoulder 'cause you may just have a policeman tapping it sometime soon. 

Here's a thought: get a job you lazy bugger!

And go to Confession, Capisce?

Signed,
Irritated Mom of the REAL Kyle

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