How to Make Adversaries & Antagonize People

GRATEFUL GIRL'S THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Dale Carnegie's 1936 manuscript on ways to conduct oneself, How to Win Friends and Influence People, not only launched the self-help genre but also became arguably one of the most useful, practical and effective books ever written. It remains one of the all-time self-help bestsellers and spawned several sequels, not to mention an empire.

It is as relevant today as ever. And perhaps needed more now than in 1936.

And it amazes me how many business professionals, people of authority, bosses, leaders, worker bees, assistants, helpers, volunteers and adults, in general, fail to follow Carnegie's very simple outline for successfully, peaceably and admirably co-existing with the other humans on planet earth. Sigh.

If they refuse to follow Carnegie's sage wisdom, perhaps I can catch them in reverse. And so, I give you the summary version of Patty Kimerer's How to Make Adversaries and Antagonize People:

1. Disparage people in person. 
Interrupt them before they are finished speaking. Use condescending language and tones. Bark out orders negatively. Berate not only the work they do but also insult them personally. Lord your position, intellect, social status or title over others; put them down in both overt and subtle ways. 

2. Disrespect people electronically or through other channels of communication.
Begin emails, texts and other messages without salutations and end them without proper closings. Be short, vague, curt and unclear. Send notes that either ramble on for the equivalent of eight pages (ensuring that it will be deleted before midpoint)  or which are so brief and terse that the recipient not only feels horrible but actually begins to cry.

3. Be unresponsive.
Completely ignore letters, notes, voice-mails, e-mails, texts, instant messages and other missives or attempts to reach and communicate with you. Oh, until you need something from someone, then...

4. Harass people.
When you realize that you need help from another human or two but that you have completely disregarded them for days or even weeks, begin incessantly calling, e-mailing, messaging and otherwise blowing up their communication vehicles. Preferably with disparagement. See #1.

5. Put yourself first.
Show complete apathy for others; discount their opinions. Do not, under any circumstances have any empathy for their feelings, their personal lives, their passion. Show no interest in guiding, mentoring or caring for them in any way. Treat them with contempt and utter disrespect.

And, when you follow this path, brace yourself not only for icy receptions, brick walls and dead ends in the workplace, but also, prepare to make reservations at your favorite restaurant for a party of one. Forever.

On the other hand...

Compassion. Respect. Kindness. Genuine empathy. A desire to work collectively for the greater good. Those might help you meet your deadlines a little easier. Oh, and they're the right thing to do, too. Just sayin'.

​#benice #makefriends #helpothers

Mt 11:28 R. Alleluia, alleluia. Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest, says the Lord.  Gospel Mt 9:9-13 As Jesus passed by, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the customs post. He said to him, "Follow me." And he got up and followed him. While he was at table in his house, many tax collectors and sinners came and sat with Jesus and his disciples. The Pharisees saw this and said to his disciples, "Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?" He heard this and said, "Those who are well do not need a physician, but the sick do. Go and learn the meaning of the words, I desire mercy, not sacrifice. I did not come to call the righteous but sinners."

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