Spon: www.cailorfleming.com/ https://chickfilasouthernpark.com/ https://www.hbkcpa.com/consultants/james-dascenzo/ Ps 119: Lord, teach me your statutes.
I know, I know. I'm sort of shifting direction.
Last week I gave you lots of suggestions for avoiding certain topics related to a certain issue dominating certain lives. Like, um, those of all the humans currently residing on the third rock from the sun.
In my last offering, I asked you to stop listening to all the COVID-19 talk and practically begged you to steer clear of even thinking about anything related the pandemic.
And now, here I am, addressing it head on.
I suppose you could say I flipped.
Or flopped. Or flip-flopped.
Or waffled. Or changed positions.
Cut me some slack; it IS political season after all.
At least, I mean, I THINK it is. I'm not going to lie; it's kind of hard to remember what solstice … or month … or day of the week it is anymore.
Just chalk it up to quarantesia. Unfamiliar with quarantesia? Oh, that's an old world term.
It actually comes from the Latin. Loosely translated, it means "those things of which you no longer have familiarity due to maximus locked-down-ed-ness." Okay you busted me, it's a Pattyism.
But it's basically those things that you have forgotten since having been consistently confined to your casa, capisce?
In other words, here's some stuff I no longer remember how to do:
-Put gas in my car. I mean, I can if I try hard enough, sure, but I used to know automatically which side of the pump to pull up next to, ya dig? Now, I'm that brake-gas-brake-gas moron you get stuck behind, inching my way along -- stalling long enough to find the little emblem on the dashboard panel pointing to the correct spot. Sigh.
-Wear shoes. Or even, like, how to coordinate outfits from the waist down? Let's face it; we're all pretty much facing it these days -as in most of us are FACETIME or TEAMS-chat or ZOOM-ing meetings several times a week in a head-and-shoulders sort of manner and not in any official pre-pandemic meeting capacity, am I right?
-Watch a single episode of a given series, one program at a time. In today's binge-crazy, video-on-demand, 24/7-streaming society, it's glaringly apparent that we are well beyond the days of waiting a week… or like, four minutes, to zip right on over to the next installment of a new favorite show, yo. Case in point: three seasons of "Ozark " - over and done inside of a work week. Mic drop.
Then again, there's some stuff that the quarantine has also made me remember, such as:
-How much I love to cook. I mean this: I seriously love feeding my fam. I just do.
-How much I hate to dust. You do it. Fourteen seconds later, ya gotta do it again. Hate it, period. And now, I can't avoid it as easily; blech.
-How much laundry three adults and one dog can generate per week! It's kind of scary, I'm just sayin'.
To be fair, there are a few things I'll actually miss like .. having my 20-year-old son home. Dreading his leaving to go back to college more than I can say. Either way.
There's also the advantage of how far I'm able to stretch makeup purchasing and self-hair-coloring sessions in quarantine. Finally…um, yeah, that's all I got.
'Cause the stuff I will not miss about quarantine? Everything else. Seriously. Literally. Everything. Make it stop, already.
Kimerer is a columnist/blogger who is super glad for time at home with her kid but also really wants to go hug the world. Send her virtual high fives at www.patriciakimerer.com