Consider this my formal invitation.
You are, of course, entitled, encouraged and empowered to accept or decline said appeal solely of your own volition. That is to say, the authority to grant or deny permission is entirely yours. Feel free to “yay” or “nay” me as you wish.
Ah, the infamous “Friend Request.” Hmm.
Welcome to method of beginning, reinstating or furthering friendships in 2022, my friends.
Oooh, that last bit might’ve been a bit presumptuous on my end? Eh, what the heck. I figure if you’ve stuck with me this far into the piece, we’re at least acquaintances, no?
Of course, this is the terminology used for reaching out to other humans via the ever-popular website “Facebook.” The process is old hat to its um, shoot I dunno, something like, 87 gazillion or so users around the globe. Yeah, it’s become a pretty popular place for virtual hosting, posting, chatting, gathering, sharing, etc.
Did I mention how it duplicates as a spot for complaining, whining and generally oversharing annoying commentary, too?
Oops, sorry Mark Zuckerberg. OK, that’s not true. I’m not really sorry. And we’ll get back to him momentarily. Ahem.
Clearly, most humans know all about the worldwide phenomenon, aka, Facebook website. For those of you who are either 1) oblivious to or 2) consciously avoiding the whole conundrum, you can perused an overview, courtesy of Wikipedia.
You do know all about Wikipedia, yes? All right, for you two anti-webbers with the cheap seats in the back who actually DON’T know, “Wikipedia” is basically an online encyclopedia. Think of it as the web’s version of the Encyclopedia Britannica your pop had in the bookcase when you were growing up. Surely you had one; how else did you do research for term papers?
Wait, what? Y’all didn’t grow up with bookcase in the living room? Yes, the living room. The only one in the house. Also called the front room back in the day. #IAmOld
We called it our FAMILY room. It was small and cozy — and where everyone sat and, you know, just talked … to each other. Face-to-face time, one might say.
I massively digress.
Our house had a several-tiered, sliding-glass-door-encased bookcase housing that big, old honking encyclopedia set and the Bible among other book series sets.
But today that info is quickly, easily found on, you guessed it, Wikipedia. Pretty sure that’s the nod in the name, natch.
Regarding “Facebook,” it’s pretty widely accepted that Mark Zuckerberg founded it in 2004 with Harvard classmates Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss — who promptly accused him of stealing their idea. Hmm.
Perhaps predicting some potential pitfalls of the new-age pal pathway: It literally torpedoed this brotherhood of brainiacs.
Although they ultimately reached some monetary settlement that made them all uber-rich Face-zillionaires. The trio ain’t pals no mo, yo.
Look it up on Wikipedia, capisce?
Kimerer is a columnist who thinks you should forget Facebook and check out her blog at www.patriciakimerer.com. P.S. She also wants you to know that handsome young man pictured with her is her kiddo/BFF...