I’m breaking with tradition a little…and rushing the seasonal theme a tad, I know!
But I thought I’d take a humorous angle on Turkey Day ala Clement Moore’s “A Visit from St. Nicholas”.
Don’t worry, you’ll still get saddled with that one next month, too.
‘Twas the Sunday before Thanksgiving When everyone in the fam Was all stocked up groceries Everything except SPAM.
Not the kind in your inbox But the kind in the can; The faux meat that smells suspect With the consistency of jam.
Either way, we all readied To make dishes galore, From the turkey and stuffing To the smashed yams and more.
For it was almost Thanksgiving That glutenous day When we stuff a big gobbler And ourselves…all the way.
And it’s true some of us Even exceed our max As we load up on ‘harvest’ Beginning with snacks.
And once we’ve burned through All the dressings and sides It’s onto the main course: A dead bird stripped of pride.
And of innards and forelegs And wings, breasts and thighs ‘Til there’s nothing but a carcass With a wishbone inside.
So, after we’ve feasted And eaten our weight In just about everything Fried, cooked and baked…
There’s a group that retires Before the TV Whilst another one gathers To report for KP.
Amidst football and dishes And the random catnap Friends, family and visitors Engage in a chat.
Some take note of commercials Flooding T-Day airwaves Nearly all of them carefully Paving the way
Via quick road map out Before sweeping or mopping; To head to the mall For some big Christmas shopping.
Yet ironically most Of the companies repped Take some really great lengths To avoid the respect
That the chief winter holiday Certainly deserves: It’s the one I call CHRISTMAS And I’m going to be heard.
Though I see all the symbols On clear, bright display Like evergreens, bulbs and A big guy in a sleigh.
I can’t help but notice That folks are remiss In acknowledging the Main event is called Christmas.
Look, I love saluting Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and all Of the midwinter holidays Thrilling folks big and small.
It’s just that I’d like To be able to say ‘Merry Christmas!’ without Argument, dispute or fray.
Either way by that point An attendant or more Invariably decides they Should leave for the store.
Not the sort selling foodstuffs, Which nobody needs! But the type that encourages Spending via stampede.
I shudder to think about Going shopping next Thursday… Or Friday or Saturday Though I’d take a quick scurry
To a few local places In support of hometowns. But beyond that, I certainly Won’t be hanging around
In a department store, Shopping center or outlet place. Instead I will sit and Stare straight in the face
Of the loved ones whom I am so grateful to see. And spend time swapping stories As we make memories…
That are far more important Than finding some sale On a tablet or purse Or rare, overpriced ale.
As for me I will gladly Forego all the cray… And instead hug my Peeps on this Thanksgiving Day.
Kimerer is a Vindy/Trib columnist who’s just grateful for all her blessings, especially the live broadcast of this year’s Macy’s Thanksgiving parade…and her treasured fam. Check out her blog “One Grateful Girl” www.patriciakimerer.com