'Twas the Night Before Black Friday...& I'm Staying Home

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​Mk 11: Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! Blessed is the kingdom of our father David that is to come!

I’m breaking with tradition a little…and rushing the seasonal theme a tad, I know!

But I thought I’d take a humorous angle on Turkey Day ala Clement Moore’s “A Visit from St. Nicholas”.

Don’t worry, you’ll still get saddled with that one next month, too.

I digress. 



‘Twas the Sunday before Thanksgiving 
When everyone in the fam
Was all stocked up groceries
Everything except SPAM.

Not the kind in your inbox
But the kind in the can;
The faux meat that smells suspect
With the consistency of jam.

Either way, we all readied
To make dishes galore,
From the turkey and stuffing 
To the smashed yams and more.

For it was almost Thanksgiving
That glutenous day
When we stuff a big gobbler
And ourselves…all the way.

And it’s true some of us 
Even exceed our max
As we load up on ‘harvest’
Beginning with snacks.

And once we’ve burned through 
All the dressings and sides
It’s onto the main course:
A dead bird stripped of pride.

And of innards and forelegs
And wings, breasts and thighs
‘Til there’s nothing but a carcass
With a wishbone inside.

So, after we’ve feasted 
And eaten our weight
In just about everything
Fried, cooked and baked…

There’s a group that retires
Before the TV
Whilst another one gathers
To report for KP.

Amidst football and dishes
And the random catnap
Friends, family and visitors
Engage in a chat.

Some take note of commercials
Flooding T-Day airwaves
Nearly all of them carefully 
Paving the way

Via quick road map out 
Before sweeping or mopping;
To head to the mall
For some big Christmas shopping.

Yet ironically most 
Of the companies repped
Take some really great lengths
To avoid the respect

That the chief winter holiday 
Certainly deserves:
It’s the one I call CHRISTMAS
And I’m going to be heard.

Though I see all the symbols
On clear, bright display
Like evergreens, bulbs and  
A big guy in a sleigh.

I can’t help but notice 
That folks are remiss
In acknowledging the
Main event is called Christmas.

Look, I love saluting Hanukkah,
Kwanzaa and all
Of the midwinter holidays
Thrilling folks big and small.

It’s just that I’d like 
To be able to say
‘Merry Christmas!’ without
Argument, dispute or fray.

Either way by that point
An attendant or more
Invariably decides they 
Should leave for the store.

Not the sort selling foodstuffs,
Which nobody needs!
But the type that encourages
Spending via stampede.

I shudder to think about 
Going shopping next Thursday…
Or Friday or Saturday 
Though I’d take a quick scurry

To a few local places
In support of hometowns.
But beyond that, I certainly
Won’t be hanging around

In a department store,
Shopping center or outlet place.
Instead I will sit and 
Stare straight in the face

Of the loved ones whom
I am so grateful to see.
And spend time swapping stories
As we make memories…

That are far more important
Than finding some sale
On a tablet or purse
Or rare, overpriced ale.

As for me I will gladly 
Forego all the cray…
And instead hug my
Peeps on this Thanksgiving Day.

Kimerer is a Vindy/Trib columnist who’s just grateful for all her blessings, especially the live broadcast of this year’s Macy’s Thanksgiving parade…and her treasured fam. Check out her blog “One Grateful Girl” www.patriciakimerer.com

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