George, Abe... & Dolly

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Lk 6: “Blessed are you who are poor, for the kingdom of God is yours. Blessed are you who are now hungry, for you will be satisfied. Blessed are you who are now weeping, for you will laugh. Blessed are you when people hate you, and when they exclude and insult you, and denounce your name as evil on account of the Son of Man. Rejoice and leap for joy on that day! Behold, your reward will be great in heaven..."

President’s Day. That perfect time to reflect on the amazing accomplishments achieved by the late, great U.S. Presidents George Washington and Abraham Lincoln.

It’s an ideal opportunity to venerate their courage, their integrity, their commitment to the development of this “new” country and their overall dedication to the human condition.

Indeed, many of us choose to honor their respective legacies by going skiing, embarking on marathon shopping sessions, and um, sleeping until the crack of Noon on Monday.

Ah, yes.

Who can forget the way our Founding Fathers admirably loved swishing down the slopes, storming mercantile shops, and lazily slumbering their days away as part of their individual herculean tasks of their day.

Ahem.

Yeah, we may have lost a little in the translation on the whole meaning of the President’s Day holiday, yes? 

Sigh. 

Who am I to judge? I mean, I’d never try to cover up chopping down a cherry tree if I were the hatchet woman (which wouldn’t happen in a million, yo), ‘cause PK don’t fib.

So, in the interest of full disclosure I’m not going to deny occasionally ravaging a President’s Day sale at Macy’s over the years.  Hehe...gulp. 

However, to be clear, I NEVER ski or sleep in late. Seriously. Like, Honest Abe genuinely. Ever – unfortunately on the latter, BT dubs; especially for my hubby. I digress.

Regardless, I’m clearly as guilty as the next American on this one. 

Mi dispiace, gentlemen.

As I pondered how we eroded from what were once such stately sentiments to today’s Feb fiesta, I couldn’t help but wonder: did the slide occur because we don’t have as much love for our leaders as we once did?

It’s no secret that over the course of the last SEVERAL Presidential election cycles, a majority of voters were left scratching their heads, asking where all the great candidates have gone?

I, for one, haven’t like an end-game contender since Hostess called King Dons “Ding Dongs“…which sort of resembles the top options I’ve had in the recent past, just sayin’.

After giving it much consideration, I’ve decided to begin campaigning for the one person I feel truly deserves my vote in 2020: Dolly Parton.

Why Dolly? Firstly, she’s completely transparent.

There are no secrets, no buried backyard bodies. We already know all about her cosmetic surgeries, her wigs, her humble beginnings in Pigeon Fork, TN.

In fact, it’s one of the things we love most about her. She is the embodiment of how hard work leads to the American dream. She came into the world dirt poor and now boasts a $550M net worth. Only, Dolly doesn’t boast, another compelling characteristic.

A true giver and lover of the people, Dolly and Carl Dean have been married since 1966. And though they have no biological children, they helped raised her nearly dozen younger siblings.

And talk about a mentor; I feel she’s the only reason her goddaughter, wild-child singer Miley Cyrus has settled down ended up with a Hemsworth. Just sayin’.

But what I think will resonate most with the voters next year is her fundamental life philosophy. In her words:

“I ask God every day to lead me, guide me and direct me ... As I get older, I’m even stronger in my faith.” Mic drop. Dolly 2020.

Kimerer is a Tribune Chronicle columnist wishing the best big brother on the third rock, hers,  Dan, the happiest birthday ever ... and who is  selling Dolly Parton bumper stickers at www.patriciakimerer.com 

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