Thanksgiving. That poor, put-upon little holiday that gets lost amid the scary creepiness of Halloween and the lights, glitz and glorious splendor of Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and the other winter holidays.
Poor little old, neglected, practically skipped-over, who-cares-about-it-lets-get-to-the-Black-Friday-deals-and-eggnog, ironically underappreciated Thanksgiving.
Hardly anyone thinks about what the day really represents: that would be the giving of the thanks, Capisce?
Originally, the concept was to thank the good Lord/Great Spirit for the bountiful yields of the autumn harvest.
Today, it’s more about stuffing yourself to the point where your belly button explodes outwardly like that little red pop-up timer in your big, bad, bursting-at-the-breastbone bird, you dig?
Oh and in recent years, sadly, it’s also been about tidying up your gravy-stained crime scene of a kitchen and portly-bellied wobbly self into some semblance of presentable as quickly after dinner as possible. Thisis so that second-round grazers have a fresh playing field…and discount-driven shoppers can cut short precious family time to go stand in line at Wal-Mart for 17 hours for the I-Pad Super-Duper Awesome Cool edition #1484.
Can’t we all just focus on the thanksgiving part of Thanksgiving for a sec? It’s really quite easy, considering every morning you wake up breathing on the third rock from the sun, there is at least that one reason to be thankful -- and certainly at least a dozen more on Thanksgiving Day or any other.
I can hear the “Poor Me” chorus warming their collective larynx already, and it ain’t in preparation for Handel’s “Messiah,” my friends.
Because there is always that martyr among us who feels he/she has nothing for which to be thankful.
Balderdash. Yeah, I said it.
Oh, my good people --- don’t you realize that there is ALWAYS something for which to be grateful? Can’t tear yourself away from your own pity party long enough to count your blessings? Perhaps your old pal PK can be of some assistance. Ahem, here we go.
If you have health, faith, someone to love (human, canine, whatevs), someone who loves you (see previous qualifier)…
If you have a roof over your head, a warm place to sleep, a job, and at least one trusted confidante, friend or go-to guy or gal…
If you have enough means for transportation when you need it and at least one cup of coffee each day – ding dang it, you’ve got yourself a whole heck of a lot of blessings.
In fact, you really only absolutely need those first four. Okay, and the coffee. (Above, please see PK’s #1 reason for being the Grateful Girl -cute, no?)
And if you’ve got some, most or all of those things and still can’t be appreciative? Hmm…you are one tough cookie.
And in that case, I suggest listening to any of the following songs: ELO’s “Mr. Blue Sky, Earth,” Wind, & Fire’s “September,” Charles Wright’s “Express Yourself,” “I Gotta Feeling” by the Black Eyed Peas “Walking on Sunshine” by Katrina and the Waves or “All Star” by Smash Mouth.
Jam out to any one of ‘em and just TRY not to be cheerful to the point of dancing in your chair. I triple dog dare ya.
So when I say Happy Thanksgiving, doggone it, you sure as shootin’ better be…or I might just have show up at your table Thursday with my boom box in hand, got it? Don’t worry, I’ll bring some coffee, too.
Kimerer is a Tribune Chronicle columnist who thanks the Big Guy everyday for having blessed her with WAY more than she should have. Please don’t rat her out; check out her blog www.patriciakimerer.cominstead, okay?